I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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