Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you win again, gameday.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
