that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
