If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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