I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Damn victory sex feels great
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
