This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
