super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
