I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
