do herpes really smell.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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