dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
