I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
from now on my penis is your penis
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
