So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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