bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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