they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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