I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
