so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
