I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
