don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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