At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
