i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
