he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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