So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
