Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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