Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
