I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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