HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
