Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I've blown a few things in my day
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
