in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
