Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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