I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
