So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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