Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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