Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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