You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I touched a dick in church today
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I had to cum in my sink.
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