i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
