Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
