so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
