How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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