some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
