Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't deserve a penis
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
