what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
