Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
