even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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