this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
