She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
