Fine. I'll sleep in my office
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
