i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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