Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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