she woke up with a sticky ear
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
