it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
