My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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