i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
