i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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