jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
