what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
